Temperature play is one of the oldest sex tricks in the book. Stimulating the senses with heat and cold is a classic foreplay technique and can be a huge turn-on for all.
You've probably heard of – or even tried – bringing ice cubes into the bedroom. It's one of the most tried-and-true ways to add a welcomed little zing of chilliness to partnered sex. (Or, solo sex – why not?!)
When you think of the term “temperature play,” you might even imagine one of those cliché, super-cheesy love scenes from your favorite romantic comedy or dramatic romance film.
You know how it goes. In the midst of passionate kissing and the frantic tearing-off of clothing, the guy holds up a single finger to the woman's lips, signaling he'll be right back with a sensuous surprise. He quickly returns with a single ice cube, which he gently slides up and down the woman's torso as she moans in ecstasy.
If the whole ice cube routine feels a bit too much like a tacky recreation from an ‘80s coming-of-age movie – and one that ends in sopping wet sheets to boot – the pleasure product experts at #LubeLife can assist in taking your temperature play to a more 2022 level.
Here at #LubeLife, we know our way around foreplay that combines the perfect mix of hot and cold (without leaving you feeling like a wet dog). Leave the melting ice cubes where they belong – in the freezer, and in the rom-coms – and get cozy (or chilled out) with these top tips for sensually toying with fire and ice-friendly adult accessories.
1. Spring for a Hot-and-Cool Lube Combo
If you've made it to the #LubeLife blog, you're likely familiar with the wide world of lubricants out there. Turning your partner into a dessert with a flavored lubricant or segueing an erotic massage into full-on sex with a 2-in-1 massage and lube oil are couples activities you'd try in a heartbeat – and maybe you already have!
Now it's time to double down on your next lube purchase with a little dose of flame and a dash of ice. Adding temperature play to your next lubricant-inspired sex session is fool-proof when you grab a lube pairing that's made for each other, just like you and your partner.
The Water-Based Sensations Kit by #LubeLife comes with a cooling lubricant and a warming lubricant, which can be used separately or blended together to create a sensation like you've never felt before.
Drizzle on the cooling lube for a hint of peppermint that'll send goosebumps up your partner's spine. This lube gently chills for a sensation you can both feel, without freezing you to the bone.
For those who like it hot, the warming lube utilizes just the right amount of extract from the capsicum frutescens, better known as the Tabasco pepper. Slather on the warming lube during foreplay and then share the heat with your partner when you're all warmed up. (And don't worry, we promise this spicy lube won't burn! We've tried it – a lot.)
Once you get a feel for each lubricant's special powers on their own, try them together and you'll find out why this dynamic lube duo just has to arrive in the same box. The mix of hot and cool feels incredible on your aroused pleasure parts.
We suggest dousing each other's genitals with one of the two types of lube – and then letting your bodies do the mixing (wink, wink!)
2. Experiment with Temperature-Sensitive Glass, Metal, or Crystal Dildos
Stainless steel G-spot wands, hand-crafted, borosilicate glass dildos, and those gorgeously colorful, crystal massage wands are mostly touted for their body-safe, non-porous materials and ability to induce incredible, internal orgasms. But did you know these temperature-holding materials can open the doors to a whole new kind of pleasurable sensation for your sexy parts?
Glass, metal, and crystal dildos are more versatile than you think. Besides their excellent capability to stimulate the G-spot, help some folks learn to squirt, and provide a feeling of fullness inside the vagina or anus, these three materials can all be safely left in the fridge or freezer, or dunked in a cup of warm water prior to playtime.
Just imagine how amazing these dildos and wands feel during your average partner play or masturbation session, and now add your preferred sensation of hot or cold to the mix. Yeah, it's going to feel even more awesome. (And of course, don't forget to lube them up, too!)
Even if you've never found a reason to splurge on one of these luxury sex toys (because maybe you're not super into penetration or rock-hard dildos aren't your thing), you've got a great one now: yep, temperature play.
Cool down or heat up your glass, steel, or crystal massage wand, dab on your fave lube, and then gently explore your exterior pleasure parts -- like the vulva and clitoris, perineum, or the outside of your bum hole -- with extra slow, mindful touch. You don't even need to put the toy inside if you don't want to!
As always, though, make sure your chosen toy isn't too cold or hot before taking it to your genitals. Only leave it in the freezer for around 5 to 10 minutes at a time, and if you're dunking it in warm water, never use piping hot or boiling water. If you can't stand holding the toy in your hand, let it cool down or warm up before using it.
3. Light Up a Body-Safe Massage Oil Candle
Candles are a staple for lighting the way to a sensual rendezvous, and if you're in-the-know, you'll find plenty of adults-only candles that do much more than set the visual mood.
Check out the bath and body section of your favorite adult retailer and you'll find a whole slew of candles that are made just for warmly drizzling over your partner in prep for a sensual massage. As these candles melt, their wax turns into an oil that never burns too hot for body safety. You can then dip your fingers into the melted wax (while still avoiding the flame, of course) or carefully and slowly drip the wax straight onto your partner's body.
The melted wax-turned-oil instantly warms the skin, sending sensuous tingles cascading over your partner's entire body. Once they're good and relaxed, use your fingers to spread around the oil, leading into a full-body massage with a very “happy” ending for both parties.
Before engaging in a candle wax massage, however, we have a few words of warning.
Not all candles are made for dribbling melting wax across the skin, so no, that pumpkin spice-scented votive from last autumn will absolutely not make-do in a pinch.
If you're going the candles-during-sex route, make sure you procure them from a trusted, reputable adult retailer and ensure they're safe for direct skin contact. You'll also want to know whether or not your prospective candle's ingredients are safe for use as a massage oil or lubricant around the genitals, so do some diligent product research based on your intentions.
Similarly, some intimate candles are designed to melt and dissolve into massage oil, while others are aimed at kinky folks who simply want a safer way to fool around with regular, hot candle wax. Decide which kind of candle play is more your style, and read the product descriptions and directions before you buy. No matter which candle type you choose, always light up and test your candle on a non-sexual body part, like the back of your hand or on your arm, before adding it to your evening toy chest.
And lastly but certainly not least, never drip any kind of candle wax directly onto you or a partner's genitals. If you're contemplating that level of kink, it's best to consult with a trained BDSM educator before experimenting on your own. They'll be able to point you in the direction of genital-safe candles and/or how to use intimate candles for genital play in an otherwise safe manner.
4. Get Creative with What You've Got at Home
The best thing about temperature play is how quickly and easily you can tailor it to your sensitivity level. As long as you're mindful of hot and cold temps so you don't accidentally burn or freeze yourself or a partner, you can play as fiery or as icy as you dare!
If a big bowl of ice cubes is exactly what will get your partner off, we say go for it! (Grab some towels just in case.) Try putting a small ice cube in your mouth and then using your icy-hot lips wherever your partner craves it most on their body.
For an impromptu version of a hot-meets-cold lube, stick your favorite bottle of water-based, silicone, or hybrid lubricant in the fridge or a warm cup of water before sensually slathering it on yourself and a partner.
You can even use the fridge or warm water tricks on your silicone sex toys, as silicone can handle boiling water and won't be damaged by a short time in the freezer. Just stick those babies in water or ice as you prep for playtime.
Temperature play – just like the rest of sex, honestly – can be as mild or as wild as you make it. Just remember to always play safely and check in with your partner before trying something new.