Woman looking at man in bed

Does Size Really Matter?

The age-old question is still very much a popular talking point in modern society. There are the classic stereotypes of men with massive members being the only ones able to enthrall a partner’s desires, however, that is not often the case. Every partner has different preferences and different levels of satisfaction that need to be attained. However, being too small or even too big, are very real concerns for some people, but the truth behind these myths will often surprise you.

Penis Size: Not the Biggest Factor

Concern about penis size often goes hand-in-hand with the idea that bigger is always better, perhaps in part due to the well-endowed penises seen in porn. Some of the concern over how much size matters comes from a misunderstanding about the vagina.

  • Vaginas are potential spaces. That is, they aren't like open tubes. Instead, they accommodate penises, toys, fingers, or tampons when they're inserted. Vaginal "tenting" allows the vagina to shift, so you can comfortably experience penetration. But when the vagina is empty, the walls press together.
  • The vagina isn't full of nerve endings. Nerves are found mainly in the first couple of inches of the vagina, meaning longer or larger penises or toys create more of a generally filling feeling than any particular sensation. It also means that penetration by someone or something smaller can still be pleasurable.
  • While vaginas do not stretch out permanently after having many partners or lots of sex, you can lose muscle tone or develop an injury. Luckily, stretching and returning to size is exactly what the vagina does.

Most people can be satisfied with partners, toys, or body parts in a range of sizes. Many people prefer penetration to be closer to average (around 5" erect) than either of the extremes. No matter what the size of your partner is, make sure to have your favorite bottle of #LubeLife on hand for when things need to get slippery!

When Size Does Matter

While most people have far less to worry about than whether their partners will be satisfied with the size of their penis, there are some exceptions. For example, some people are "size queens" who prefer more well-endowed partners and won't settle for anything less.


However, some people don't enjoy super large penises because then it bumps their cervix during sex. This can be incredibly painful (although a few people are fond of the sensation). That's right; bigger isn't always better. Shallow thrusting is key to having pain-free sex. Penis bumpers and thick cock rings are also helpful to prevent full penetration. 

When a penis is especially small--we're talking about a micropenis, here--penetration can become difficult. Certain bodies and positions just won't work all that well. Fortunately, a few tools can help. Consider memory foam position pillows to lift hips and penis sleeves or extenders to add a bit of girth or length. You can even find strap-on harnesses that make space for your partner's penis while they use the strap-on on you.

Good Sex Is About More Than Your Penis

So far, we've talked about how size matters a lot less than you might think, but there's another reason why your penis doesn't need to be massive: it's only one of the tools at your disposal.

There's a lot of pressure on you to be big enough and hard enough, to last long enough for your partner to have an orgasm.  All of this centers penis-in-vagina (or anus) intercourse as the most legitimate or "real" type of sex.  If you're sexually adventurous, you've likely caught on to the fact that this isn't the only type of sex. You probably realize that mixing and matching everything from oral to anal to foreplay to vaginal to toy to kinky sex makes things far better than just doing it the ole-fashioned way.

What does this have to do with penis size?

Your penis doesn't have to be perfect when you can use your mouth, fingers, toy, or any other body part to make your partner feel good. Likewise, sex doesn't have to be all about your penis or even involve it at all. How else would some people have enjoyable sex without a penis in sight?

Now, it's natural if this gives you pause. But it actually means there's less pressure on your penis. So you can breathe a sigh of relief and use your other tools and skills to become a fantastic lover.

That willingness to learn and give is far more important to potential partners than penis size. Ask anyone who's slept with someone well-endowed who was super selfish or boring because they thought their big penis was all that's needed for a good time (hint: it's not!). Similarly, sex can be bad because someone is so hung up that their penis is a little smaller that they fail to actually connect with their partner or enjoy sex themselves.

When it comes down to it, attitude matters much more than penis size.

What About Toys?

It's easy to think that everyone prefers larger penises just by looking at the toys that are available. There are plenty of unbelievably large toys on the market. But just because they're available--and hard to miss on the shelves--doesn't mean that everybody buys them. Some people are up to the challenge, and others think they can take a toy as big as someone's fist, only to find out how very wrong they are!

You've probably had an experience where your eyes were bigger than your stomach--you overate and regretted it afterward. The same can happen when shopping for sex toys, especially when you're shopping online. You can't get your hands on every item, so it's all too easy to underestimate how big a toy is.

It's frustrating enough to get your new toy out of its package to realize you can't ever use it. You might be out a pretty penny. But that's only one unpleasant side effect of misjudging how big a toy is. If you attempt to force it, you hurt your vagina or rectum, and no one wants that! 

That isn't to say that you might not enjoy large sex toys or partners who are well endowed. Some people are size queens, after all. But you should make sure that you know what you're getting into to save yourself from making a costly and potentially painful mistake. 

If you prefer a larger toy or penis, it's also essential to use plenty of lube to prevent micro-tears, which are more than just uncomfortable. #LubeLife has you covered if you want to have a slick, satisfying experience.

So, there you have it. Size matters, but it's not as big a deal as some people would have you think. Keep your mind open and your attitude positive, and you're bound to have amazing sex no matter what you're working with.

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