Make Sure Your Phone Sex Is As Smooth As Possible
By: Syeda Khaula Saad
Next to actually getting naked in front of another person, phone sex is probably one of the most intimate things you could ever do. And sometimes, it’s even more nerve-wrecking: you’re worried about sounding weird, saying the “wrong” thing, or accidentally hitting mute right when you’re about to moan. But phone sex isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being present, having fun, and yes (like any kind of sex), being properly lubed up. To help you ditch the nerves and dial up the heat, sex and initmacy coach Aimee Latta shares her best tips for keeping things smooth, sexy, and consensual.
How To Have Hot Phone Sex
According to Aimee, the biggest hang-up people have is overthinking. “Often people are hung up on saying the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ thing — how they look, angles, etc. It’s important to remind yourself that there are no right or wrongs in a consensual phone sex session,” she says.
Consent is the foundation here, even over the phone. Aimee stresses: “Like with any sexual act, we want to make sure you are onboard for what will go down… Will videos be involved or voice only? Do you consent to having screenshots taken or recording of the session?” Getting clear upfront doesn’t just protect you — it helps you relax and focus on pleasure.
And yes, lube can be part of the setup conversation too. If you’re planning a mutual masturbation session, make sure you’ve got your bottle handy. You can even coordinate what kind of lube you’ll both be using to feel more connected across the distance.
“Personally, if the session I’m having with a partner involves me being a voyeur and watching them masturbate, I love having both cameras on. I get to see them stroke themselves and they get to see my reaction,” Aimee says. “If the session involves me needing my hands to touch myself, it’s cameras off for me… Plus, I do love an audio-only session from time to time because it really makes us listen to our partner’s words, sounds, and moans. Hot!”
Prepping Like a Pro
Think of prep as foreplay for you. “I believe the preps are all for you! What is going to help make you feel sexy and relaxed? Is that having an ‘everything’ shower? Putting on your favorite perfume? Lighting some candles and playing your favorite playlist?” Aimee suggests.
And don’t forget the practical prep: toys, lube, and aftercare. And yes, despite the name, you should prepare for aftercare before phone sex.
“Remember to have what you need for aftercare next to you — a glass of water, a pillow to cuddle, a favorite robe, etc.” she says. But while you’re stocking the nightstand, keep your favorite lubes close. Different lubes can change the entire vibe: a silky, long-lasting one for slower strokes, a flavored one if you’re playing with oral, or a thicker one if anal’s on the menu.
She also recommends a little solo session before the action. “Maybe your preps include pregaming with yourself. We love a warmed up body, whether that’s stroking your inner thighs, teasing your breasts, or making yourself cum altogether. You do you, literally and figuratively!” And yes — lube makes this warm-up way smoother.
Dirty Talk Without The Stage Fright
So, how do you avoid sounding like you’re reading straight from bad erotica? “Authenticity! Dirty talk is best when it comes from you and is framed in a way that is genuinely your voice,” Aimee says. “Because the person wants to have dirty talk with YOU! Yes, babe — you, and they love your sexy voice.”
Her tip: stop censoring your own thoughts. “Often, the best dirty talk is stating our own thoughts out loud. ‘I want to put your dick in my mouth.’ Simple and will guarantee a rise nearly every time.”
You can even use lube as part of your dirty talk. Whispering, “I’m pouring lube all over my fingers right now” or “I want you to watch me slick myself up” can be just as erotic as describing a position.
And if you’re feeling stuck, lean into shared history or fantasies. “If you’ve had prior sexual experience with this person, you can lean into that with your dirty talk… Tell them some of the scenes you’ve been playing in your head and ask them what scenes they’ve been playing in their head from your last time together,” she explains.
Still tongue-tied? “Turning to erotica for ideas could help. Damn — bring an erotic passage to the phone and read it off or send a quick text from your favorite passage,” Aimee says.
How To Apply Lube During Phone Sex
Yes, even over the phone, lube is still your MVP. If you’re going voice-only, one-handed application is the way to go — drizzle, glide, moan a little while you do it. Want to level it up on FaceTime? Turn your lube moment into the show. Slowly applying lube to your body while your partner watches can be just as hot as the dirty talk. And there are perfect lubes for every situation.
The Best Lubes For Phone Sex
No two phone sex sessions are alike, and neither are lubes. Here’s your cheat sheet:
- To last longer: Climax Control Delay Spray
- To turn you on and put on a show: Get Jizzy With It
- For solo-play: Handie Masturbation Cream
- For anal action: 3X Thicker Water-Based Anal Lube