Ladies: We all know lube can work wonders for our sex life. It eliminates discomfort caused by friction, remedies “dry spells,” and can even make foreplay twice as fun and exciting. Unfortunately, some women feel uncomfortable introducing lubricants into the bedroom. After scouring Reddit, online forums, and product comment sections, we collected the top two most common reasons women avoid using lube:
- Cumbersome and awkward. Sex is supposed to be spontaneous and care-free. Stopping foreplay or sex to grab a big ole’ ugly bottle of lube can slow sexual momentum and ruin the mood.
- Many women associate the use of lube with problematic vaginal dryness and don’t want their partner(s) to get the wrong idea. The thought of turning their partner off turns them off!
In short, using lube makes some women feel awkward and unsexy. As certified lube experts, we hate to see women avoiding the benefits of lubrication because of exaggerated fears. The reality is, the vast majority of sexual partners aren’t turned off by lube, as it makes sex more pleasurable for them as well (especially when wearing condoms). Likewise, applying lube shouldn’t be a mechanical, mood-killing experience. In this article, we’ll explore 7 ways you can make using lube sexy instead of awkward.
Use Lube for Steamy Pre-Sex Massages
Who says you need to stop having fun to lube up? With the right preparation, lube can be an organic, non-intrusive part of your sexual adventures. The next time things are heating up between you and your partner suggest a silky-smooth massage. This gives you the perfect excuse for busting out some water or silicone-based lubricants. As things progress from “casual massage” to “oh-wow-we’re-totally-going-to-have-sex,” simply lube the important areas and forget about it.
Lube Your Partner During Foreplay
If you’re worried about ruining the moment by awkwardly fumbling around with a giant bottle of lube, simply introduce it long before penetrative sex occurs. A good ole’ fashion hand job is a great way to do this. Since a dry hand job is rarely fun for anyone involved, apply a generous glob of lube to your hand and get to work. If you have flavored lube, applying it during oral sex makes perfect sense also. Both methods will leave your partner wet and ready when it comes time to get it on.
Oral sex can make any relationship sizzle. For some amazing tips and recommendations check out our how to turn oral sex into a treat with lube entry.
Have Your Partner Lube You Up
Pssst, hey – here’s a little secret: You don’t have to put in work for lube to work for you. Instead, have your partner do all the work! Nudge your partner into initiating foreplay and pass them the bottle. Don’t worry, it won’t be real work – using lubricants to help stimulate your lady bits makes things easier (and more pleasurable) for everyone involved.
Put it in a Cute Bottle
As we mentioned earlier, managing large bottles of lube before and during sex can potentially slow sexual momentum. To avoid this issue, place some lube in a small bottle or a cute lotion dispenser of your choice. You can keep it simple or get as fancy and decorative as you want. The important thing is that it’s easy to grab and dispense. Dispensing lube shouldn’t take more than 5 seconds, and a small, discrete bottle ensures your focus remains on intimacy (and not inventory management).
Experiment on Your Own Terms
If you’re new to the world of #LubeLife, you may want to experiment with lube on your own before using it with a partner. Try using it as a masturbatory aid; apply modest amounts to your fingers or toys (just be advised that water-based lubricants are the safest option to use with silicone-based sex toys). Pay attention to how your body reacts to cool, silky lubrication and find your optimal comfort zone. Transitioning from self-use to use with a partner will feel natural and seamless!
Apply Lube Privately
Some women want to use lube for vaginal or anal sex but don’t want to incorporate their partner(s) in its application. That’s totally fine. Everyone has different preferences and comfort zones. Before letting your partner enter into your palace, simply retreat to a bathroom, whip out your cute little bottle of lube, and apply it privately. If discretion is your thing, you may not want your partner to perform oral sex on you after you’ve already applied it (they’ll most likely taste it, and if it’s not flavored, it may be an uncomfortable experience for them).
Get Kinky with itSex should be steamy and spontaneous and not clunky and weird. The same goes for applying lube. Instead of applying it in a boring, mechanical way, why not get kinky with it? Try giving your partner a naked lap dance and encourage them to lube you up from behind. If you like being spanked (because you’ve been a naughty girl), lube is the perfect accessory for making things steamier.
Remember: There’s nothing embarrassing about using lube. It’s useful for everybody, regardless of age, gender, and orientation and can work wonders for your sex life. Now experiment with a few of the above ideas and find something that works for you!