Backdoor for Beginners: A Guide to Anal Play

Backdoor for Beginners: A Guide to Anal Play

What’s the number one reason people shy away from anal? It’s intimidating. We’re protective of our butts.  

Most of us masturbate before we have sex. That’s how we know what we like and what we don’t. Anal is the same way - you’ve got to walk before you can run. That’s why anal masturbation is so important.

So if you’re new to anal, masturbation is a sensational and satisfying way to learn, and if you love it already, keep reading for some tips on the best ways to pleasure your backdoor. 

What Is Anal Masturbation?

Anal masturbation is when you sexually stimulate your anus, rectum, or prostate. It’s safe and easy (as long as you lubricate properly), and feels amazing. All you need to get started is a finger or two, but many people use dildos, vibrators, anal beads, butt plugs, or other sex toys as well. 

How to Anally Masturbate

Before you get started, there are a few things to keep in mind. First rule: lube. Your anus is a tight hole, so if you want to penetrate it you need to get slippery.  

If your finger goes in a butt, never put it anywhere else before washing (AKA “double dipping”). There are bacteria in the anus that can cause health problems elsewhere. As a general rule, if you wouldn’t stick that finger in your mouth, don’t stick it anywhere else.

Your anus is sensitive, so take it slow and easy until your body adapts to the penetration. It’s best to start with an anal massage.

Begin with Anal Massage

Trim your nails, wash your hands, and gently apply pressure around the anus with your fingers. You might enjoy making a circular motion, stroking, or even just pressing on the opening of the anus. Vibration feels incredible on the anus, so you can use a vibrating toy for the massage if you like.

The trick is to switch things up as you go along with your massage. Try out different motions, levels of pressure, and more or fewer fingers. You can also mix up your sensation by spreading or closing the butt cheeks.

Enjoy Anal Fingering

The skin inside your rectum is very sensitive, so you might want to wear a glove. Either way, ensure that there are no sharp or pointy things (like long fingernails) going into your anus.

Take things slow and build up to penetration - don’t try to rush it or force it. Let your body relax and get in the mood as you get more and more turned on. That’s part of the reason the massage is so important; it helps loosens your muscles from a tight butt to a relaxed butt.

Apply lube to your finger and anus, then insert about a quarter of your finger’s length and see how you feel. Sit with that feeling for a few moments while your body adjusts. Add some more lube before you continue, then gently push your finger in deeper and move it in and out. It’s like any movement or exercise - the more you do it, the easier it gets.  

Toys for Anal

As long as you’re being healthy and safe, there’s no limit to the possibilities when it comes to anal toys. That said, don’t jump into the deep end with a 10-inch monster dildo. Start small and work your way up..

If you’ve spent more than five minutes on the internet, I’m sure you’ve seen embarrassing X-rays from people who got weird objects stuck in their butt. That’s why it’s important to use a toy with a flared base or some kind of removal mechanism instead of a cucumber or a Buzz Lightyear action figure (yes, that really happened to someone). 

I always recommend getting something that vibrates. You don’t have to use the vibration, but most people love it, so it’s better to have the option than not. Beads or plugs are the best places to start, but with experience, anything will work.

Practice Makes Anal Masturbation Perfect

No two bodies are the same, so your journey with anal play will be unique to you. Start slow, pay attention to the sensations, and find out what you like, love, and dislike. If you have a prostate, anal masturbation can give you a full-body orgasm like nothing you’ve felt before. If you have a G-spot, anal penetration can stimulate that area too.

Anal Lubricant

It’s no secret that great lube makes for great sex, but with anal, this is even more important. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so it needs a little extra juice to get it going.

When to Use Lube

You’ll need to use lube before and during penetration. Anything that goes in - toys, fingers, etc - needs to be lubed up. The type of lube you use is up to personal preference, but you’ll often have better luck with a lube designed for anal.

How to Use Anal Lube

Be very generous with how much lube you use. Don’t start with a tiny bit; instead, really lather up the area around your anus and your toy or finger. Keep the bottle handy because you’re going to go back for it.

Again, the type of lube you want to use is up to you, but water-based or silicone tend to be the best for your skin, easiest to clean up, and won’t damage your sex toys.

The Magic of Flavored Lube

Flavored lube isn’t just about the taste - although that’s a huge bonus if your partner plans to stimulate your anus with their mouth - they’re about scents and safety too.

The smell of flavored lube can be sexy, and it can take your anal play to the next level. Just make sure you read up on the best flavors and don’t buy a lube that will irritate your skin, ruin your toys, or make a mess.

Anal Masturbation Tips

You don’t want to be rushed while pleasuring your anus, and you definitely don’t want anyone walking in on you, so set aside plenty of time for it. Clean up well before and afterward so that you’re not worried about a mess. You need to relax if you’re going to have fun with anal, so try to clear your mind.

And, of course, experiment and have fun! Try new toys and motions as you learn more about what you do and don’t like. You should also experiment with different lubes to find out which one you like best.


The important thing is to stay safe, take it slow, and discover new ways to pleasure yourself.

Anal pleasure takes a little more effort than other sex acts, but you’ll know it’s worth it when you experience your first anal stimulation orgasm. It’s not the kind of thing that’s the same for everyone, so don’t be worried if your anal journey isn’t the same as someone else’s.

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