Whether you are a couple in the early stages of your relationship still learning one another’s quirks and cues or you’ve been together for decades and think you know everything there is to know about your partner, communication is one of the most important tools you have. Communication can help you connect on deeper levels and create meaningful memories together.
It’s not always easy to know what to talk about though or how to broach certain topics – especially when they are related to sex. So that’s where these sexy questions to ask your partner will come in handy!
Why Should You Ask Your Partner These Juicy Questions?
Granted, if this sexual encounter is meant to be only that — a single sexual encounter — it might not make sense to try to get to know one another better.
But for those looking to let love rule, or even for couples who have been together for what seems like forever and who need to find new things to talk abut, these questions could lead you into fascinating and unexplored areas that could deepen your connections, and ultimately benefit your sex lives. And, seriously, who doesn’t want that?
8 Dirty Questions To Ask a Man
What Do You Wear To Bed?
Boxers? Briefs? Dinosaur pajamas? Or, does he go naked as a dog? Clothes — or the lack thereof — make the man. Translation: what he chooses as part of his nighttime routine may say a lot about him.
Does he sleep in only his underwear? That’s pretty standard for most guys. Sleep in the nude? He is confident about his body. Fancy pajamas? He might very well have his stuff together. A T-shirt only? That’s just odd… run! (or not!)
Should We Talk During Sex?
Some people are all about the talking while doing the deed, while others prefer silence for concentration purposes. Figuring out preferences beforehand makes it easy to know if you should describe in great details what you want done to you or if you need to keep it basic with just moans and groans.
What Is Your Dirtiest & Sexiest Fantasy?
If this is your first time with a guy, this could be the perfect way to find out if you are on the same page sexually. If they talk about getting tied up and spanked, but that’s not your scene, it could be a sign that this isn’t meant to be long-term. But keep in mind, that just because someone fantasizes about something, it doesn’t mean they always want to engage in that activity.
As for long-term couples? Getting your partner to open up about their desires can be a little tricky. They might worry you will judge them if their fantasy is considered something outside the “norm.” But if both people can create a safe, non-judgmental and trusting space, sharing sexual fantasies can help deepen the bond they share and give them new ways to spice things up.
Do You Think You Know What I Want?
Turn the tables a bit with this question. Does your partner know you? We mean, really know you?
Can they anticipate where you want to be touched? Whether you want to use a toy? If you want sweet and romantic or rough and tumble sex? Then ask! If they are aware of your wants and desires, fantastic! If not, now is the perfect time to be honest about your own fantasies. Even just the act of talking about your sexual thoughts can really kick things up a notch or two in the bedroom.
What Is Your Favorite Position?
The answer to this sexy question to ask your partner can give you some quick insight into your partner’s personality. If he prefers missionary, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s boring or too vanilla. It could mean that he values tenderness and closeness and wants to be able to look into the eyes of his lover. Doggy style could mean he enjoys the feeling of deep penetration and being in control. Cowgirl indicates he likes the view when making love to his partner and wants to be able to see as much as possible.
Do You Like Foreplay?
It’s a pretty basic yes or no question, but there’s much more complex meaning behind the question and the answer. Not everyone enjoys foreplay, and that could be for a variety of reasons: insecurity related to their body; it feels a bit perfunctory and scripted; one partner is ready to get straight to penetrative sex… the list goes on.
So if you get that yes answer, use the opportunity to expand on the dirty questions to ask, what they enjoy, what they want done, what they’ve always meant to try, and so on. And if you ask in a seductive and sexy voice, it could have a positive effect on both of you.
When Do You Most Enjoy Having Sex?
Is he an early riser? Is his libido more active at night? Is enjoying a little afternoon delight his jam? If it turns out you share the same preference for the time of day, then get to planning out those romantic rendezvous!
If your preferences don’t mesh, then maybe it’s time to find times that work for both of you. Or, make a point of doing it on each other’s schedules a fairly equal amount. Who knows, you could learn to love rolling over and canoodling as soon as you wake up, and your partner might start to find late-night lovemaking more appealing.
Who Is Your Celebrity Crush?
This juicy question isn’t meant to send you on a downward spiral comparing your body to Zendaya’s (ED NOTE: Or JLo’s or Chris Hemsworth’s or…), but more to find out what body part he appreciates most, which is information you can use to your advantage.
He likes butts? Then give him a great view of you with doggy style. Is he more into boobs? Climb on top and ride him for all he’s worth, while giving him a great view of the girls.
8 Dirty Questions To Ask a Woman
Do You Like Toys?
Not every woman is interested in adding technology to their sex lives, and that’s her prerogative. For those who do, their tastes can range from a small one-speed bullet vibe to a triple penetration pleasure product. Using toys is a great way for both partners to explore their own bodies in addition to one another’s and find new erogenous zones to reach even greater heights of pleasure. And you could schedule a sexy night out to your local adult boutique to find something new together!
Which Flavor Lube Do You Like?
Flavored lubricant is the perfect thing to add to make oral sex tasty and more fun, but some people have very strong preferences for the flavors they like. Some love a juicy, fruity flavor, while others prefer flavors associated with decadent desserts. Luckily, #LubeLife can fulfill everyone’s desires with their collection of flavored water-based lubes. From the limited edition Birthday Cake flavor to the water-based Watermelon flavor, #LubeLife makes it easy to schedule a taste testing session with your lover to find the one that works best for you both.
What’s Your Favorite Place To Have Sex?
Some people can’t imagine having sexy time anywhere but on the bed with their curtains drawn and the door closed and locked. Others have christened every room in their home, and maybe even some rooms in their friends’ and family’s homes. The great outdoors is a great turn on for some, while others think the back seat of a car is an exotic location.
If your lover suggests a new place to get intimate, be open to trying it out. It could become a sexy game as you try to add to your list of lusty locales.
How Do You Feel About Anal?
This is definitely a question you want the answer to before you go in blindly. Not everyone is open to a little butt action, but just asking this question can help open the door (no pun intended) for future possibilities. If you and your partner have the trust needed for such an intimate act, it could become something you work toward together with plenty of conversation, lots of lube and a gentle approach.
What Do You Prefer: Being Dominant Or Submissive?
This isn’t a question most people think to ask, but the answer could be surprising, especially if you feel as if your love life might have gotten into a bit of a rut. While conversations about being a Dom, sub, or switch (someone who is a bit of both) tend to happen more in LGBTQIA relationships, there’s nothing stopping anyone from posing this juicy question. Luckily, #LubeLife has a fun and easy quiz to find out your preferences, so why not take it together?
Do You Talk To Your Sexual Partner About Sex?
For a variety of reasons (lack of proper sex education, lack of self confidence, and lack of trust in a partner are only a few), some people are reluctant to talk about sex. If you broach this subject as a question, it can make it less intimidating for your partner to answer. Talking about sex might be uncomfortable at first, so try setting aside some time during a post-coitus snuggle session, when you’re both relaxed and feeling bonded, to broach the subject.
Do You Prefer Lights On Or Off?
If you and your lover have gotten into the habit of doing the same things over and over, just asking about the lighting situation could be a great place to start mixing things up. Play around with the idea of light a little. Use a blindfold and then remove it as you start to climax. Light candles for a dim and romantic setting. (Bonus points if you use soy-based candles that can be used for sensual massage.) Forgo penetrative sex and instead turn on all the lights and really take your time looking at and touching your partner’s body.
How Do You Feel About Roleplay?
There are so many possibilities with this question. If it turns out you’re both interested but have never participated, start out with using role-play to set the scene. Keep it simple, such as pretending you are on your first date again or try to act like your favorite celebrity couple. If you’re both old pros at it, then feel free to get elaborate with costumes, scripts, and more.
Questions To Avoid
It should go without saying, but there are some sexual questions you should never ask a partner, whether you have been together for years or if it’s your first encounter with one another. If you're thinking about asking one of these sexual questions to a girl or guy, think again and don’t.
How Many People Have You Had Sex With?
There is no good answer to this question, and there is no good reason to ask it. It will most likely come off as an attempt to shame the other person for their number. And what does the number matter? They are with you, and that’s what is important. Their number of previous sexual partners has no relevance on their experience, or lack thereof, and has even less relevance to your sex life with them. This question proves that, yes indeed, there are stupid questions, especially stupid questions sexual questions to ask a girl.
What Was Your Previous Partner Like?
Honestly, who cares what the answer to this question is? You could be exactly like their previous lover, or absolutely nothing like him or her. It doesn’t matter. They are with you now. And asking a question like this just screams you are insecure, and could turn off your partner from taking things any further with you.
Are You A Virgin?
No. Nope. No way. Do not ever ask this question. Bottom line: It’s none of your business. If they aren’t a virgin, asking this could lead to tension which could lead to no sex. And if they are not, this only puts unnecessary pressure on you both to make every sexual encounter “amazing.” Who needs that? Just enjoy being in the moment with your partner and appreciate them for who they are and who you are with them.
It’s been said time and time again that the most important sexual organ is the brain. These sexy questions to ask your partner can help to open communication, which allows you to feel more comfortable sharing your desires. When you open the communication floodgates, it’s easy to use that information to make the sex even better.