My Partner and I are Horny at Different Times

It's another autumn and all the summer primping, prepping, and socializing means a lot of you have landed your main squeeze. There's something about the first chill swooping in during September that makes us want to stay in and bundle up. All of a sudden, we feel small against the powerful natural elements and the desire to hold our partner close.

Unfortunately, many a good relationship has ended when one partner simply doesn't feel the same craving for closeness at the same second. Modern dating culture is not much help, as it provides advice as toxic as the meanest of Real Housewives. People think that two people not being horny at the same time is a deal-breaker.

To be real, people say that's due to incompatibility like there should be a magic lantern that grants people equal levels of sex drive.  Even when one person is feeling horny and the other isn't, there's plenty of toys, foreplay, intimacy exercises, and #LubeLife products to kindle the flame.

Hating Horniness? 

Being horny at different times than your partner can deflate your ego. At first, there's a sense of angst or the realization that you're no longer in the Honeymoon Phase of a relationship. But, when you were in the Honeymoon Phase of a partnership, you didn't know that person as well and sex came in limited times based on when you could see your partner.

When people first start dating, sex and horniness usually aren't as much of an issue unless one person has a dramatically different libido level. As relationships mature, people will find that they're not horny at the same time as their partner, which creates tension. People feel sexiled when it's usually a matter of timing. 

Before you kick your partner to the curb, there are some biological factors about peak horniness in men and women that explain why people are horny at different times. Men often report a preference for morning sex, whereas women like evening sex to wind down. It could be men like morning sex because of that sturdy morning wood, but it all depends on the person. 

Some people have no problem bedding down whenever their partner wants to do so. For morning or night hookups, we would recommend our very thin, water-based lube since morning and evening sex tends to be about fluidity and feeling comfortable enough to sleep or wake and have orgasmic pleasure. 

Spontaneous Sexy Time, or a Scheduled Sexy Time

Luckily, we're in fall and most of the Northern Hemisphere is dealing with a season change that provides ample room to get intimate with a partner. There's also plenty of outdoor activities to keep the energy level up throughout the day.

When people are happy, they tend to feel more spontaneous and this extends to the bedroom. A delighted person who has been bonding with their partner by spending time with them outside is going to have their endorphins elevated and lots of natural, feel-good chemicals.

There's also no better time to make a move than when cloying up to your partner after seeking shelter inside after being outside in the cold. Going outside as a couple gives you both an opportunity to bond. When you come back inside, it’s time to get laid!

When both partners are seeking each other for body warmth in the evening or after a day of being outside, it lends itself naturally closer to her preferred times of intimacy. When couples are kissing and hiding under the blankets, it's easy to rekindle a romance and couples can warm up together as a type of foreplay. After all, when there's no better time to bond with a partner and become in sync when you are both starting to spend time together during the fall. Keep some flavored lube near your bedside with fun flavors to keep the mood upbeat and fun; adding the element of spontaneity to get the juices flowing! 

The Sexy Time Schedule

Since men and women tend to naturally experience arousal at different times in the day, let's factor this into your life. Unfortunately, there's not always a season change that promotes bonding that happens when you realize your sex life needs work. No one really considers schedules sexy, but sometimes, they can resolve the problem of people being horny at different times in the day. It's better than not getting laid!

By using a schedule, both partners have a more objective opportunity to have sex when they want to and when they want to have it. If both partners see that the partner who wakes up early always has sex at his preferred time, then they can start planning to work in the lady in the relationship into the schedule at her desired time. Couples having a product like the barely-there silicone lube can work wonders and be incorporated throughout all times of the day.

A lot of relationship problems occur when one partner feels like they're sacrificing themselves unnecessarily to serve the needs of the other. It's no different when it comes to sex. For some couples, having a sex schedule actually solves their problems and makes them feel better. Most people will choose to compromise about when and how to have sex if the alternative is no sex or finding new love. 

Penciling in Hookup Times 

For all the fall fun, food and drinks, and Halloween, there's a lot of opportunity for easy ways to connect with your partner outside a schedule. For many partners, half of their intimacy problems start when the fun and games die down and the partnership settles a little. When the couple is not going out every weekend or dressing up in titillating costumes, then they think the magic is gone.

In reality, the problem is often that these are two individuals who simply get horny at different times and express intimacy differently. Instead of getting to know that about one another, some relationships tank because one or both partners are so upset about their sex life and lack the skills to communicate and find out why they're having intimacy issues.

When mature couples are involved, they can learn to compromise when they have sex informally or create a set schedule. Depending on the person, it can feel like a loving act to make love when your partner would rather be involved. For others, they like to be treated like royalty and have the other person cater to them. Horniness isn't a static feature in a person's life and is dependent upon stimuli as well as the time of the day. With some compromise and finagling, many couples can have good times even when they didn't originally feel horny.