By #LubeLife Team | July 8, 2020
It’s an inevitable truth that many couples face once the rose-colored glasses of the honeymoon phase fade away. As relationships become longer, a certain degree of comfort kicks in, whether you’re aware of it or not. Humans are by nature, creatures of habit. We take the same route to work, shop at the same grocery store, sit in the same seat on the bus, or even eat the same dish at our usual restaurant.
And while having a routine and being comfortable is perfectly fine, when it comes to relationships, that could be a sign of something more. When we become too comfortable with our partners, it becomes increasingly easy to take them for granted and go through the motions. Suddenly one day you wake up and realize that the spark is gone and you’re bored.
Here are 5 signs that your relationship is in freefall and how to fix it.
You Make Excuses to Stay Out
Although there is nothing wrong with going out with friends every now and then, if you constantly feel a need to make excuses to come home, it’s time to have a serious conversation with your partner. Oftentimes in relationships, people tend to avoid conflict in an effort to evade arguments. Sometimes a passionate discussion is needed to demonstrate that a relationship is worth fighting for.
Set up a time to speak with your partner to discuss where your relationship stands and if being together is something that you really want. Try to make these open discussions a habit instead of a one-time thing. As you both become more comfortable, you’ll be surprised at what you discover. If you still don’t feel a connection to your partner after those efforts, your gut could be telling you to cut the cord.
You’ve Stopped Doing What You Love
Another aspect of keeping your relationship in the green is making sure that you make time for yourself. Have you ever noticed that the longer a couple is together, the more they look and act the same? In order to make a relationship work, you must compromise but there comes a point when that compromise becomes too much to handle.
Engaging in activities that you love helps you grow as an individual. The more you grow on your own, the more you’re able to bring to a relationship. Whether it’s going to a weekly cooking class or going to the park and reading a book, having a time that is dedicated only to yourself will break you out of a funk.
You Put Up Walls
Something that a lot of people do when they feel uncomfortable is put up walls. Walls help us to avoid facing how we really feel at the risk of having our hearts broken. If you feel like you have put up a wall with the person that you love, it is time to consider knocking them down.
Building up walls could manifest itself in several ways. From passive-aggressive behavior to the complete silent treatment, if you find that you can’t speak openly about your feelings, you have to stop the bleeding.
Although it may be tough to break this cycle, try to gradually express your true feelings. Having an opinion and stating it out loud does not have to result in a brawl. Once your partner hears you and understands your issues, it becomes much easier for them to acknowledge their part in the current status of their relationship.
Your Mood Changes At The Drop of a Hat
Emotions have a way of coming to the surface, even when you don’t want them to. One common way is the inability to control your emotions due to the state of your relationship. There will be days when you wake up happy then feel completely drained two hours later. It feels like you’re always off balance or no matter how hard you try, it’s not enough.
If you feel like a ticking time bomb, taking action by addressing these concerns with your partner is the best method. If you’re open to it, ask for referrals to couples therapists around the area. No longer as taboo, as it used to be, speaking with an unbiased and educated therapist, can help to bridge gaps in communication. When you’re in a safe space that encourages speaking up, major advances in your relationship can happen.
You Avoid Having Sex
In extreme cases, you may find yourself so bored with your relationship that you find ways to get out of having sex. Whether using the excuse of a grueling workday or feeling sick, eventually your partner will catch onto the fact that you don’t want them around. Not only will your partner feel unwanted but the lack of sex could lead them into the arms of someone else. Before your relationship goes to the land of no return, it’s time to tell your partner what’s on your mind.
Sex can actually be the root of a much bigger problem. Whether it's faulty communication or never feeling like you get what you want, having those tough conversations are what takes relationships to the next level.
Time To Rebuild
As you can see, the best way to fix any relationship issue is to talk about it. Although many of us want to avoid conflict, being able to speak openly is the only way to stop a relationship from turning ugly.
If you want a little help exploring your partner after your issues have been ironed out, try out some #LubeLife. With an assortment of lubricants, you can work through your relationship speed bump while working up a sweat.
No relationship is perfect. By taking the time to work through your issues you can find a common ground to get your relationship back on track. And while many couples aspire to be in #relationshipgoals type of relationships like the people on Instagram and YouTube, those couples also have their own issues to overcome.
If You Do Find Yourself Veering Away From Bad Relationships And Have The Urge To Get Out There And Mingle Again, Check These The Best Day And Time Of The Week To Have Sex And Three Reasons Why Love Is Not Blind